The prompt from this week’s writing group was historical fiction set a 1,000 or more years into the future. Mine is based off of a mocumentary style historical fiction that someone in the future mistakes for actually history and then runs with making it even more ridiculous. This was a lot of fun to write. The book that the speaker in my story has taken for truth is Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
Note: My original story has footnotes, I couldn’t add formatted footnotes to this version so they will be listed like this (1).
Hello fellow students! I’m so siked to be presenting here at our yearly conference on Mars! Mars, the bringer of war – which is perfect because my topic today has to do with the secret actions of a man most thought was dead during a war.
Back 1,200 years ago when the United States was around and before he was voted (1) into the office as president this man hunted and stabbed my favorite type of people: vampires. Yes, I am talking about Abraham Lincoln. Now there is very little documented about his hunting, it was all recorded when people still used paper. Anyway, the vampires were mad that he had killed them when they only drank from people to survive. So, the vampire rulers hired a man to kill Lincoln to stop the vampire slaying and make it look like the people were just mad about his politics (2).
Well as we all know, the bullet failed and didn’t kill Old Abe right away. So a Vampire snuck into the room and turned him. Quite poetic justice for them. Lincoln then died his first death and his wife, Mary, buried him. Three days later the vampires dug him up and set him loose on all those kids left at home while their dad’s fought over their right to own other people or to not own them (3).
Once he regained his mind after several months, apparently the now vampire Lincoln was very upset. According to the vampire files, which were much better kept , he wept and refused to drink until he went mad and fed without thinking. This amused the high vampire to no end and he always giggled with glee when Lincoln asked to be removed from this second life.
Towards the end of the war Abe managed to escape his vampire guards. He ran onto a battlefield and was promptly slain by a cannonball (4) through the chest. Of course the vampires were very unhappy to have lost their pet and his punishment ended way too soon.
Does anyone have any questions? No? Okay! Well, if you are interested in learning more about this beautiful second life, the signup holograms are up here at the front for my private club on the topic.
Thank you for having me at this year’s Mars Conference.
- Vote: when people told everyone else who they wanted to be in charge – but another smaller group actually decided who was in charge. The initial ballot collection was an illusion.
- Politics: different issues that people cared about.
- Honestly, having a robot servant is so much better than a person.
- A cannonball was launched from a long metal tube called a cannon with an explosion. How uncivilized.
I loved writing this because it plays off a wonderfully ridiculous idea: teenage girls will always love vampires no matter the century. Let me know what you think in the comments below! Happy reading.
Thank you KW Photography for allowing me to use your wonderful photos!
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